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The eternal warrior
Many years ago: There lived a young, humble and proud noob by the name of "the north face", he lived in a small, humble village, next to a large forest. In that forest, there were many things to be seen, but the noth faces mother told him, "never, ever stay out in the forest after nightfall" he didnt know why, but he obeyed. for the last few weeks the town was peaceful, and quite, but recently loud footsteps were said to be heard on the porches of residents, tapping on windows in the middle of the night, suspicous activity, but most puzz''ling of all, a trail of footprints made from boots led to the forest. Young north face was curious to explore this new discovery, so he followed them happily into the forest. The footsteps led a mile or so, then abruplty stoped, north face looked around, searching for traces, he found nothing, then he heard a voice, "hey, kid" North turned around sharply, seeing nothing, the voice continued, "do me a favor?" The seemed to be comnig from a large structure, it look to be made of stone, north could hear the rusted creak of windmills inside, he also heard somthing playing music, "a record player?" he said to himself, it was getting dark, north replied "N-no i-i'm sorry i h-have to go now" and he quickly fled the woods, on the way home he thought he heard footsteps, he looked behind him to see, he dripped over a pit trap and landed in the 15 foot hole he was to young to break out of it, so he called for help. He heard the voice once more, "nobody can hear you kid" north was scared and afraid, then he saw a dark silloute rise above him, he typed as quick as lag would allow, "plz spare me" the man replied: "my name's salmon, nice to meat ya' " North was still afraid, but not as much, "h-hello" he replied frigtfully, "looks like ya' hurt your leg there", North look down to see his leg was injured, the man threw a cookie down, "eat that it's magic or something", north hesitated, he knew he wasnt allowed to take food from strangers. "fine", he took the cookie back, tore it in half, ate one half, and handed it back to north, "they're awful cause they're made from fruit, but they'll help ya out someday" North ate the cookie, and his leg felt better. "t-thanks mister salmon", "''now lets get ya out of there" the mysterious man grabbed a hammer, and through the magic of his inner awesome, inverted the laws of physics, and "broke" the pit. It was dark, really dark out, "i have to go mister" north said, "wait a sec kid, how far?" "''a-about a mile or s-so" the man seemed shocked, "tonight?" "yes" the man seemed nervous, "''have you seen the thing that comes out at night?" "''thing?!" the man realized he was scaring the youg boy, and eazed up a bit, "''do you believe in scary things? like new players who ask how the controls work?" ''"w-ell yes.." "''well, one of those scary noobs scares your town every night, its my job, to ki"-he thought about how to say this to him-"i put those scary noobs in the noob hole" "ok, can i go home now?" "yes, but i should come with you, to explain where you've been" "ok!" So they went home..... The mysterious man acting nervous all the while, but not showing it to the child. "now go inside, have a nice night" salmon told north, "ok" he replied, so he went in, the man walked into the forest, all night, north thought about what he had said, about magic and monsters, he wanted to be a part of this world, so he began practising, (about 5 minites later) he made a sword of iron, and a bow, and he was finally old enough, so he set out to the forest. He followed the same path, and fund the old base, covered in vines and decay, and again met the man, "i need to talk to you" said the man, '' The man continued, "this base is many years old, a great war happened here, long ago, between a god, and a puny youtuber. This base was the central of operations, i, am the last survivor." "wow!" "shut up im talking" "k" "many years ago, the captain ordered me to flank the enemy, and we saved his life, i was the leader of that squadren, and with salmons last dying breath he said 'tell...... your friends... i kicked.. corrupt x's... butt', and he handed me his musket, of gold, and i inherited the army that day, but now, the evil returns, i thought it never would, but i have no army, i have no way to combat it..." "thats so sad..." "you're the first one to find me, i'm too old to fight, i have no more left to say, i'm giving you a power ancient enough, powerful enough, to defend your town from this evil.. as i never could, take this musket, and raise your army kid" "but, whats gonna happen to you..?" "dont worry about me kid, the future, is in your hands now." the mysterious man dissapeared again behind the old broken walls, and no more was said between them, as the music still slowly plays, for all eternity, as it did years ago. He heard a rustling between the mushes agead, "hello?" he said, no reply.............."h-hello?" no response.................."um.. im going to leave now" just then, a figure appeared from behind a tree, it's two red eyes staring at him, into his soul, in a deep dead voice it replied, "looks like your the power now" north face tryed to avert his eyes to run, but found he couldent, he was frozen in fear, "i'm going to give you one chance, to hand me that riplfe" north stood in fear, in the back of his head he heard an unfamilier voice say, "Tell your friends i kicked your butt!" and the gun lifted in his hands, and a translucent angel like figure stanced in a battle positon, formed around him, aimed, and fired 2 rounds into the demon, and it fled away in a cloud of darkness in the night. The translucet figure was that of salmon, the one in the legends, it dissapeared just as it had appeared, suddenly. And just as suddenly, north felt a rush of power run through him, and his mind felt as if it had split, into 2 essences, he saw the world in a new way, filled with trap routes, and a minimap, each opaque white spot represented the burial ground of one of his soilders, and the great white dot, resembleing salmons essence, glows brighter than all, suddenly he heard a voice in the back of his head, "now this is more like it!" it sounded like a younger version of the mysterious man he had spoken to, but somehow he knew everything about him now, and what he had to do. He rushed to his village to find it had been raided, a large flag stood among the burning fire, marked black, with a red X. The pole was made from gold, and the tip was made into a spearhead, as in to be carried into war, suddenly, the flag lifted, and it lowered to the ground, at the end of the pole, was corrupt X, his weapon gleamed in the firey blaze, and his eyes shined by his sinister grin, as he slowly began walking towards north, north had 2 thoughts at this moment, "RUUUUN!!!!!" but his wiser, more awesome half said "it's no use to run, he'll catch up, stand your ground and stand a chance at survival" the gun lifeted once more, aimed, but couldent fire, for their minds were merged, and as salmon once said, "if you tie 2 pigeons together, though they have 4 wings, they cannot fly" north's cowardish instint was combatting salmons pro instinct, and he soon realized, with his own hand he pulled the trigger, landing a hit, he realoaded, he didnt know how, but he just knew, he fired rapidly, while salmon accesed inventory to equip the best hat for his moment, when suddenly, a strong urge to run came over salmon, because Corrupt X was within 20 feet now, almost enough to land a hit, he had to act fast, when suddenly, he equipped bull helmet, switch accesories and hit angel wings, closed inventory presses hot key 1 then pressed hotkey 7 plus space plus up arrow 1.2 seconds space twice and 2 plus mouse rotation 180 degress and space, but corrupt x healed everything in 2.2 seconds. Amazing. North realized how noobish he was, but salmon conforted him, assuring him someday, he'll get a kill. He ran from the village in hope to find another home, and hoping his people escaped, after an hour or so, he found a village, with several refugees, all wounded limping or weak from fighting, several covered lumps lie on the ground, this sight troubled north, but salmon quickly changed the subject, "in order for me to help you effectivaly, i'll need a new body." "thats weird" north thought. "LOL" he replied in thought. "we'll need sleep" north continued, "agreed" salmon replied. So north went to sleep, but his mind troubled him, dark images of war and death, he couldent sleep, so salmon thought up a nice image of a team of noobs, hunting cows and bulls, nobody else on the server, just noobs, and this helped him drift peacfully off to sleep. But in his dreams, the suffering was much different, it was of his counterpart salmon, his pain, his loss, his suffering, this troubled him even more, his dreams painted a tale of a poor noob, who got bullyed around by bulls and other noobs, he grew sick of his treatment, getting kicked from teams! The "GGGGGG" spam after his defeat, and the pain that led him to the path of war and death, he got revenge, and killed all in his wake, he realized what he had done, he hated himself, he felt so bad, the patch of land he owned, turned to ice, like his soul, and the lan he had spilled the blood of his enemys, turned red and barron by his anger and rage, and his regret, created a river of tears, and his sadness created the loomy dark wolves, he regreted his actions, but moaping around wont help anything, so he created an army to battle evil, what he himself once was, and he swore to repay all who he had killed, by ending the menace Corrupt X, and now that he has returned, salmon as well, must return, to fulfill his promise once and for all. Morning came, and he woke, he wondered if he should tell salmon what he saw in his dream- "i already know pal" "we need to get you a body" "agreed" so they went on, a noob spawned next to north, "WTF!!!" the noob replied (noobs always reply to nothing) but he didnt run, he was stuck on a pit trap, "plz dont kil me ;-;" the noob replied, "calm down! we aint going to kill you!" "can i join???" the noob began. "sure" north replyed. and the noob was added to the team, salmon quickly began with his inquery: "can i?" "No." "can i?" "No." but then, sadly, the noob dissconected, "can i?!!?" "shure" And salmons mind parted with north, and joined the silenced noob, assuming salmons power, age, and astonishingly good looks, he equiped his 'hat of power(ranger hat for short)', looked himself over, confirmed that he was awesome, and turned to north, "ok" he began, "now to raise an army of dudes" north though: "can he still here me?" "yes-" north was amazed, "thats where we'll begin" he finsished his statement, "can he hear me when i think?" "indeed!, a great idea that would be to raise our army" "i wish he wouldent do that" north thought to himself, "that'd be great, if we could get to it!" north realized he was talking to himself and ignoring salmon intirely, "wut?" he replyed. salmon was unammused, "lets get our army" "army?" north replied, "ye, it's english for a large military force, english, do you speak it?" "oh uh, ye that army, i was just daydreaming" "salmon thought to hiimself, "man, this guy is weird" and so they departed, to find the graves and do some holy magic or something, something about spawn pads i dont know, but to get an army, so they departed. While salmon began on about how amazingly awesome he was, norths mind wandered.. He thought about why salmon had become who he was, and how he could help, suddenly, salmon put his arm out to stop norths movement, and they halted, salmons eyes fixed on the forest, "hand me the thing i just told you about a second ago" salmon began, "what thing?!" "the thing!" "what thing?!!" "you see north, you werent listning, that could get us killed" "so this is a test?" "yes, congrats, you failded miserably" "thanks boss!" "NP" and they continued into the forest, in search of the first grave, after about an hour or so, salmon stopped "this must be it" he began, "must be what?" "the first headstone" north looked down to see a grave marked 'haha! you died before i did' written on the front. "so uh... now what?" salmon hadnt thought this far ahead yet, "we uh......." "uh..?" salmon quicky realized when he had departed from north, he left a part of his mind with him, "MOOO!" he yelled quite loudly, only he didnt say 'mooo', "what did i do?!" "i need to knock you out" salmon replyed "what?! wh-" salmon punched him directly in the face, north fell to the ground asleep, "oops, maybe i hit a little to hard... he'll be out a while" salmon reentered norths mind, gathered his iinformation, left and returned quickly yo his own body in 1.2 seconds, he stood up, "now... to deal with you" salmon picked north up, and carried him to the nearby village, he took him to the doctor, "i think i broke his face" salmon began "thats nice..." the doctor replied, he was working on a new material, called a 'healing pad' "doc, i think i broke his face pretty hard" "here have a sucker" and the doctor handed a pencil over his shoulder, "your pretty busy doc" "need a bandaid?" "doc..?" "thats nice" salmon soon realized he was dealing with a bot, "ah cmon!" salmon stomped away still carrying poor broken north in his arms, salmon put him on the ground, and shoved a cookie quite violently down his throat, he woke up, "hapy berfday!" he immediatley passed out again. "really.." salmon began, he began to get impatiant, but soon realized being impatient isnt awesome, so he waited twidling his thumbs for north to awaken, all the while nerovously watching the forest. He remembered something from norths childhood, that he had seen in his dreams, a peacful loving family, a quiet life, a peaceful town, brought to chaos, but salmon remembers meeting north before once, when he was too young to remember, before salmon got too old to defend the town from evil, he was always watching, from the forest, he had seen this boy exploring his forest for many years, he watched him grow up, and saved him one day, he was being stalked by a wolf, it quickly charged north, but salmon grabbed his musket, and with 1 mighty bullet, brought the animal to the ground "thank you mister god" norht began, salmon smiled, and replyed "go on home, its going to be dark soon" and the boy ran off, not knowing about the true darkness he could have encountered, but salmon never stopped the boy from entering the forest, he wanted him to experiance it, so one day he would know the path, and the path would one day save his life from danger, as salmon once did, north was awake now, "can i have some water pls" "No." "why?" "you want your teeth to fall out?" "no" "then no water yet" ":(" ":P" "we should keep moving, we'll be safer by the river" salmon replyed "why the river?" "want your finger to fall off?" "no." "then to the river we go" salmon continued talking while they walked: "sorry i punched your face in, i thought you were a little stronger" "thats ok" "LOL" they walked for about a mile or so, and rested for the night. The next morning, they awoke to find themselves surrounded by Corrupt X's followers, "seriously" salmon began, "SHUT UP!" the followers replied, "so your just going to point your swords at us and not let us speak for the rest of our lives? sounds ok by me" one of the followers whipsered, "what ''are we going to do?" "idk i havent thought of that!" "guys, i can hear you" salmon replied "SHUT UP!" the followers reolyed, then, in a flash of ligtning, salmon pressed hot key 5 space took a hit 3 plus space 7 plus arrow key up space down 5 space capturing one of the followres in a spike trap, if he moved to attack, he would die, in 1.2 seconds, amazing. North was still peacfully asleep, so salmon held the follower hostage, "if you dont leave then he dies!" salmon began, then suddeny, his hostage dissapeared, he had dissconected, "AH CMON!" so salmon grabbed his katana and i another 1.2 seconds slayed everyone, amazing. North woke up, "im hungry" salmon looked amazed at him, "i just slayed 5 dudes!" "ok *he yawned* im hungry, breakfast?" "ugh" salmon replied, and they marched towards the river. "you think my family made it to the next camp?" north began, trying to end the silence, salmon probably knew the real answer, but replyed "ye, i think so" north knew that he could be lying, but continued on anyways "sure is quiet tonight" north began, "when its quiet your enemy can hear your movements, i dont like it....." salmon grabbed a smallobject from his pocket, it looked like a rectangle, "whats that?" north replyed, "a cassete player, ever seen one?" "no" "this is from a time when the music was real, AC/DC?" "hey thats a science class, alternating current and direct current!" "ye that to, but its also one of the best bands ever kid" "can i hear some?" salmon grabbed another rectangle marked 'thunderstruck' ''the letters were faded, but north could read it. Salmon pushed the object into the cassete player, and it began making noise, "thats ACDC?" "no its rewinding, before all this automatic stuff" and suddenly a pure blast of awesome blew up the eardrums of north, "wow! its an angel singing! its a devil screming!" "it is the pounding of creations hammer upon the anvil of time \m/" "its moooing awesome!" Corrupt X enjoys sinister pop music, but salmon enjoys the awesome hits from the 70's 80's and the early 60's, because salmon is awesome, and chooses not to contribute to the musical phenomenon, north and salmon walked along listning to this new powerful noise that salmon owned, north desperatley wanted one himself, but he would worry about that later, suddenly, ahead in the darkness, two glowing red eyes appeared,staring at them, "not again.." salmon began and in the cold dead voice replyed, "this time will be different" corrupt X held in his hand a katana made of diamonds, and a suit made from gold, salmon had no armour, but he looked awesome in the rangers hat, "whats that i hear" the demons voice continued, "the sound of time" salmon replyed, "dude, it sucks man" the demon continued, "hey! dont insult my music you diseased pop lover!" "oh shut up" salmon cranked the volume higher, "sorry! couldent hear you over my awesomeness!" the demon was unamused, and charged salmon, but salmon soon realized, he couldent move, "run kid!" salmon yelled, and north ran toward the forest as fast as he could, he almost cryed knowing that he left a good friend to perish, but he ran. The demon stopped in front of salmon, staring into his very soul, a dead stare, judgeing him. the demon began "i wish you could feel what i felt, why i became who i am" "you're who you are because you chose to be, im who i am, becuse i chose better" "you think you're in control? thats the illusin, you were never in control, there is no conrtol" "same applies for you" the demon was shocked with salmons timid unrelenting awesomness, "i wouldent insult the one who holds your life iin his hands" "funny thing about that is...." the sound of marching arose behind the demon, salmon fixed his eyes in the direction, and smiled, "kill me, and you have an entire army to deal with" the demon looked over, to see salmons cassete player lying on the ground playing marching off to war(*motorhead), the demon turned back, to see salmon had escaped, but left a trail of footprints, leading to the forest. Corrupt X didn't follow however, he had a plan. Salmon caught up to north, "sick moves" north began, "ikr" suddenly a loud bang rang out over the trees, birds flew and the trees rattled. "what the heck was that?" north began, "i know what it is" salmon replyed, "its his army..." suddenly, a large armada of soilders came running from the forest, "holy s-" "run!" they turned tail and ran as quick as they could, salmon quickly pulled out a new cassete player, and clicked in AC/DC's highway to hell, they continued to run, the army hot on there tracks, north tripped into a pit trap, "help!" he cried, salmon looked back, the army was too close now, if he turned back he himself would die, but he had to try, salmon turned on a dime, and ran back to rescue his frined, the army was closing in quickly, he threw in a hammer and they started trying to break the trap, but it was too late, the army had closed a circle around them, salmon put his hands up, with his cassete still grasped tightly, suddenly, he realized, this hadent been added to the game yet, so it might have some power inside of it, he threw it to the ground and hard he could, it shattered, glitched, and suddenly the audio spiked so loudly, it is said to have been heard 20 miles away, salmon remained unbuffed through this loud noise, cause hes awesome, and had been to an AC/DC concert before, but Cprrupt X's feeble pop loving followers were too weak for this new found power from satan, they retreated back, salmon broke the trap for his friend and they made for the nearest town. ''To be continued